"Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things;
yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever." (Alma 26:12, The Book of Mormon)
Ok, so I know I have talked about this scripture before, but it has affected my life in so many different ways and I just need to talk more about it. Before the mission
it helped me to recognize that I am a person of many faults and that only through Him could I be made strong. While I have been here in Mexico, I have come to understand even more that, although I am imperfect and there are many things that I am not capable of doing alone, with His help I can do anything (and trust me, I have definitely needed His help daily).
As I was thinking the other day about my experiences in the past I thought,
"Hey yeah, I can do ANYTHING!" and then the thought that came to my mind next burst my bubble of enthusiasm just a little bit "Anything, EXCEPT - - -
endure the death of one of my close family members...So, almost anything I guess." And then my mind went through a long list of "except's."
And it was a lot longer than I would like to think...
It just can’t work like that.
We can’t say that we have faith if we include the word "except."
That makes me think of the story of the disciple often called "doubting Thomas." When his fellow disciples had told him that the Lord had resurrected,
he didn’t believe them. It wasn’t until the Savior himself appeared unto Thomas and invited him to feel the scars in his hands that Thomas could acknowledge
the miracle of the resurrection. Aren’t we all a little bit like Thomas? We say "Hey, I follow Jesus. I am His disciple," but then when our faith is tested, that confidence turns into, "wait a minute, I thought things were supposed to work out well for me. I thought He would save me from the hardest
because I chose to follow Him."
I’m not sure, because I have lived a life fairly protected and unharmed,
but I think that those moments of trials might just give us the boost of confidence we are looking for. It is a chance for us to test the faith we have---
To put to trial the formula of "ye receive no witness
until after the trial of your faith" (Ether 12:6, The Book of Mormon).
So I don’t know everything.
I even have moments when I doubt a little bit what I think I know.
But I have a strong faith, a strong belief, that if we put our confidence in Him,
in good times and bad, He will strengthen us in ways that we cannot imagine.
"I will give unto [you] strength such as is not known among men" (Doctrine and Covenants 24:12).